A=A preaches that the same as itself simply means a cat is a cat But Heidegging Martin screams a being is the being of a being that Can’t just live in this complex identity garbage dump like a brown rat The rhetoric says we are fcked so turn down the logic thermostat A=A and A≠B says the cat can’t be in two places at the same time But Hegelling Georg says he’ll pay with my Telus phone booth dime And besides, he adds, I can’t stand the contradictory tangle that I’m Trying to BS you with even though the damn thing doesn’t even rhyme A=A or A≠B says he cat is in the room or the cat is not in the room But Humeing David's excluded middle “ought” vs an “is” goes boom By the order of non-ergodic magnitude lawless inflation with whom I am falling with at a faster than inflationary lightspeed doom We’ve got Heraclitus who shreeks that it’s all because of the Greeks That obscure olive oil wine drinking freak with the nice puffy red cheeks Who wrote those gold standard “foot in the same water twice” critiques Philosophers piss me off sitting in their “creeks have peaks” brain boutiques